Parents who hate parenting: Is this the latest trend?
I came across this article today while I was checking my mail. (http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/parents-who-hate-parenting-the-latest-trend-2466533/).
I am denying I hate parenting but several points in this article weren’t so far from home either. Maybe it’s not the parenting that I hate -- I love my children to death. Maybe it’s being a wife. I dislike being given a title and reduced to being a plus one when clearly I do more. I’m sure men everywhere will disagree but this is my blog. Leave me be.
I used to think that I was fortunate enough to have tried almost everything that I wanted when I was younger and I have had enough fun party-wise. But then I tell you parents-to-be, it’s not exactly wise. Because, clearly, you know what you will be missing unlike those who take the plunge (and I also advise you not to). They might also have their own repercussions since they are ‘late-bloomers’.
The article sited PERFECTIONISM, MULTI-TASKING and STRESS as the top three stumbling blocks who normally make mothers resent parenting. True. I try to be perfect, therefore, I expect everyone around me to also be perfect or at least, try to be. But, as the cliché goes, nobody’s perfect. And yes, nobody truly is. As a result, I expect too much from people because I beat and chastise myself if I make a mistake.
I don’t think you can find a mom who does not multi-task. I feel that multi-tasking is what makes us efficient as a person. Say for example the male specie, can he watch television and listen to what you say at the same time? No. One task at a time is what they are programmed to do. Women, on the other hand, can watch TV while picking up toys on the floor and lecture the children on what to do after playing with their toys.
And stress. What's there to not stress about? That's me. Stress-filled 24/7.
To close, these are the 10 tips, the article offered:
GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK – YOU DON’T NEED TO BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF. Perfectionism. That’s my problem.
JUST SAY NO! WHAT ARE YOUR REAL PRIORITIES? Oh how I’d love to say no. But who’s gonna do it?
TAKE TIME TO WRITE IT DOWN. JOURNALING WILL BRING CLARITY TO YOUR LIFE. No matter how many times I’ve been telling myself that I would write religiously this time, take time to just breathe is more like it.
SLOW DOWN AND SAVOR LIVING IN THE MOMENT. I want so much to slow down and savor my children and how much love I get from them. But if I slowed down, life happens!
PLUG INTO YOUR KIDS SO YOU CAN REALLY CONNECT WITH THEM. I am sooo guilty. Sometimes I tutor and do something else. Multi-tasking! I need to play with them more, talk to them more. Sometimes I get annoyed with N’s incessant questions.
DON’T FORGET ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND – INTIMACY IS LIFE-AFFIRMING. This, I feel, I can do without. How can I not forget my husband when he does not make his presence be felt around the house? Intimacy? Hah!
REACH OUT BEYOND YOUR FAMILY. IT WILL ENRICH EVERYONE. Yesterday, I had a chance to chat with old friends and again, I felt what I was missing with my life. My husband is very good in reaching out beyond our family. He reaches out to them ALL the time! I, on the other hand, feel utterly disconnected.
MAKE YOUR PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH A PRIORITY. Nope. My priority is my children. Although I need to make my physical and mental health join my priority lost. Without them, I cannot enjoy my kids more.
IS MORE ALWAYS BETTER? SIMPLIFY. More what? I don’t get this. I think we have just enough.
BE A LITTLE SELFISH – YOU DESERVE IT AND IT WILL MAKE YOU A BETTER MOTHER. I know I do. But I feel guilty. A million times have I thought of getting a massage but then I think of my kids and how much I’d rather just be with them. They always, always win.
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